To be perfectly honest, for as long as I’ve been eating the stuff I really had no idea what made “minestrone” “minestrone.” So like any other annoying person with an iPhone trying to settle an argument at a bar, I consulted Wikipedia on the matter. As it turns out and in summary, minestrone is basically soup consisting of a bunch of stuff thrown into a pot and cooked, typically featuring pasta, beans and vegetables. And so without further ado, I present two variations of minestrone – one with seashell pasta, the other with chicken and artichokes.
This is a pretty great soup. So much veggie goodness that it’s actually filling, and the seasoning is really well balanced. Not too watery but for my taste, needs more tomato. Pretty much perfect for lunch or on a cold day.
Next up is another variation of minestrone featuring chicken, corn, and artichokes. I was a little weirded out by the combination at first, but this stuff is insanely awesome and borderline addictive. If you try no other recipe I’ve posted thus far, I highly recommend this one.
Artisan Chartichoke Bistro Bonanza in Awesome Broth
It’s gooooooood soup. That’s pretty much all I can say about it.
Welp, that’s it for now, I’ve got at least two more soups in store for yall, and then soup month is pretty much over. Now I just have to come up with a food theme for next month….
Burger King has always been the king of Whoppers, as well as stupid and weird advertising ploys. Well, they seem to have totally gone over the deep end this time with the creation of Flame body spray, a body spray infused with the essence of flame broiled hamburger. Or something. The website for Flame is decidedly bizarre, and the product is only sold in one place, Ricky’s Halloween Costume Superstore in NYC.
And if this idea for a product seems even the slightest bit amusing to you, you should check out the reviews featured on the listing, some of them are outright hilarious. Good times. Observe:
Sweet Jesus I’m getting laid like crazy
December 18, 2008
Reviewer: Chick Magnet from Hades, AL United States
At first I was a little wary of your product, I mean, I’ve tried other things to help maintain my “chick magnet” status, such as the infamous “wolf sweater” or maybe just a pair of hot pants, but I really was missing the ultimate compliment to my attire, the Whopper Flame. Now the ladies literally want to eat me, literally….if only they had the fry vat body spray as I’m tired of wearing 5 hour old “Big Mac special sauce deodorant” wearing off and smelling like milk left in the sun for 3 days. It’s folks who create stuff like this that are the “real men of genius.”
Mantastic!
December 15, 2008
Reviewer: Frank Reynolds from Philadelphia, PA
After viewing the commercial, I knew this spray had to be mine. Once received, I engulfed my less than satisfactory body with your cow meat scent. At first, I was discouraged because the neighborhood dogs started chasing me as if they were in heat. I made it inside just in time. Soon after, my girlfriend came over. I was skeptical at first, but when she appeared from the kitchen, double fisting ketchup bottles, I knew I was golden. Her love of hamburgers had finally worked out to my advantage. It was the first time she let me put my “hamburger” in her “bun.” That night, she had it her way; I gave her the best Whopper she’s ever had, and that’s saying a lot.
Hilarious. And, as fate would have it, I just so happen to have snagged two of the last remaining bottles. The weird stuff is currently sold out, and I for one cannot wait to smell the sweet, sweet odor of burger magic all the time. Expect a review as soon as superhumanly possible.
The McRib is a very curious sandwich. The mere mention of McRib, in conversation or when heard in any number of “THE MCRIB IS BACK!!!” commercials brings forth some sort of weird, unfounded glee.Which is weird, considering it’s really just a gross rib-shaped pork patty slathered in… delicious… BBQ sauce… with pickles and onions on a hogie style bun OH GOD I NEED ONE RIGHT NOW!
Fortunately, for those of us who desire the McRib and it’s crack-like qualities. There’s the McRib Locator, an rather ingenious use of Google Maps created by some guy who just seems to love McRibs.
That in and of itself is pretty amazing, but for me what makes the McRib mostly interesting is just what was said earlier; it evokes this weird sort of interest every time I hear about it. And oddly enough, it’s probably because they keep “getting rid of it” and then “bringing it back” for a promotional period every so often. According to the McRib’s wikipedia page (what?), it’s all been just a huge marketing ploy. At some point in time, the bigwig mucketymucks at McD Corp. realized that the McRib sells at its very best when it’s not a regular part of the menu, so they launch stupid ad campaigns and fake “SAVE THE MCRIB” petitions on websites that seem to change every year or so. The current incarnation of the online home for the McRib (http://www.mcrib.com – this single menu item even has its own website) features a ridiculous DJ that sings to you about how good the McRib is and provides a bunch of links to songs about the McRib on Pandora, a rather cheap cross promotion.
But I digress, McRibs remain awesome, so get out there and find a McRib, enjoy it, and revel in its unique position as the sandwich version of a stepchild that never quite fit in, but was pretty popular for a little while every time he showed up to a party.
Winter is most definitely the time for soups. While cold and boring outside, most humans basically just want to stay warm and stuff their faces with something at least similarly warm, whether it be food or otherwise. So in honor of this concept I am dedicating December to soup. Eating soup, making soup, and providing you, the four readers of this blogozine, recipes for soup that I have tested out and hopefully enjoyed. And so without further ado, this month’s first soup recipe:
Italian Wedding Soup (with lemon!)
INGREDIENTS
1/2 to 1 pound extra-lean ground beef
1 egg, lightly beaten
2 tablespoons Italian-seasoned breadcrumbs
1 tablespoon grated Parmesan cheese
2 tablespoons shredded fresh basil leaves
1 tablespoon chopped Italian flat leaf parsley
2 green onions
6 cups chicken broth
2 cups sliced spinach
1 lemon zest
1/2 cup orzo pasta, uncooked (actually I just used rice)
shredded Parmesan cheese for topping
DIRECTIONS
Mix together the meat, egg, bread crumbs, cheese, basil, parsley, and green onions in a bowl. Unless you are a masochist and love chopping things up forever and ever, I recommend using a small food processor to chop up the parsley, basil and green onion.
Pour the chicken broth into a large saucepan over high heat. When the broth begins boiling, drop in the meatballs a few at a time and let them cook for a minute or two. Then stir in the spinach, lemon zest and orzo (or rice). Allow the mix to return to a boil, then reduce heat to medium. Cook at a very low boil for 10 minutes or until orzo is tender (If you use rice, this will take longer. Sample the rice as it cooks until it’s done to your liking), stirring frequently. Serve sprinkled with shredded Parmesan cheese.
The finished product should look remarkably similar to this:
It should also taste really great. Serves 4, 30 minute prep time tops.
(nutrition information forthcoming)
Sweet Jesus I’m getting laid like crazy
