 They won't look like this. |
It came to my attention last Friday via Pork Magazine (wait what?) that Burger King will begin testing the addition of pork short ribs to their menu in several key markets. Dubbed “Fire-Grilled Ribs,” and a long term plan to offer the ribs in up to 3,500 of its locations in the U.S., it remains clear that Burger King wants us to all die a little sooner. |
The more fascinating aspect of these upcoming horrors of fast food is the fact that they will be bone-in; whereas the slightly less horrifying (but no less disgusting) McRib contains 100% less bones, the vision of a Burger King littered with rib bones left behind by ignorant customers is kind of – make that really – disgusting. And I guess functionally the bone litter is no different than any fried chicken joint, but quite frankly most of those places are disgusting out loud as well. So Rat’s Off To Ya, Burger King!! Can’t wait to not try this product!
| The Bacon and Beer Happy Hour IV has come and gone and it was a pretty great time indeed. For a bar that has essentially made a name for itself solely through Tweeting frequently, Bad Decisions has really done a fine job of generating a ton of interest in their events and establishment in general, this particular event especially. The place was packed by 7pm and it was still packed when I left, having a grande olde time eating entirely too much bacon and drinking cheap beer. |
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And when I say entirely too much bacon, I mean entirely too much bacon; instead of pretzels in baskets, they put out baskets of bacon as snacks. Each and every menu item had bacon in it (a lot of bacon) – I played it safe with a grilled cheese and bacon but other sandwiches, such as the GBLT (a BLT with Guacamole) were piled enormously high with the smokey goodness.
And no evening featuring all things bacon would be complete without a star, a bright shining star that eclipses all other food items, a truly epic piece of food destined to destroy us all in a white hot supernova. That food item is known as The Gutbuster, and it is truly horrifying. The Gutbuster is a double bacon cheesburger with – are you ready for this – two bacon grilled cheese sandwiches as a bun (no lettuce or tomato, that shit’s for pussies). Yeah. This thing was like a Hollywood star on the red carpet when it came out of the kitchen. Pictures being shot left and right, ooohs and aaahs and gags all around. Upon taking his first bite, one guy stated “it’s like I’ve been slimed!” as grease and butter covered his chin. But he ate the whole thing, and then ate a plate of nachos. Unreal. (I also submitted it to This Is Why You’re Fat)
People were met, beer and bacon vodka were consumed, it was great. Can’t wait for the next one!
LIGHTING EDIT: For tons of really really good pictures of the event, head here.
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Spammy Hormel enjoys a gutbuster (with nachos)
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Gutbuster Consumption
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The Gutbuster
