2009 October | The City That Feeds

NachoQuest 2009 – Kooper's Tavern

Things I learned while sampling the nachos at Kooper’s: 1) The addition of chili, in some cases, can actually elevate the quality of an entire plate of nachos. 2) My camera phone is horrifically shitty and I should seriously just bring my regular camera with me everywhere.

At any rate, the nachos at Kooper’s Tavern (1702 Thames St., Fell’s Point) start at $8.95 and come with the usual cheeses, jalapenos, black olives, scallions, salsa and sour cream. Add grilled chicken, $11.95. Though while I was ordering, I was told that I could either top them with chili or chicken, and could opt for a half portion instead of a whole one. Being tricky like I am, I opted for a half portion with chili – which came to roughly the same price as the standard nachos run. I for some reason was an idiot and thought that half portion = half price – definitely not the case.

The nachos were well loaded with the ingredients listed and salsa came on the side, which I appreciate since you can opt to dump it on the pile or dip individual chips (though if done correctly, the salsa should generally be incorporated into everything else). I think alone these nachos would have been just ok – but the chili really made a total difference. It was sweet, barbeque flavored and loaded with sliced peppers and onions, which really added a lot of flavor – “Zazz” if you will – to the whole mix. The kicker: when I was done with every last chip, there was still chili left!

Long and the short of it, the portion was good and the price was fair. If it were a whole portion for the same price I’d be giving these nachos 5 golden chips so fast it would tear your face off and I’m reaaaaaalllly leaning toward it anyway, but on the whole I’ve had more for less elsewhere.

Four golden nachos out of five

(view the NachoQuest map so far here)

NachoQuest 2009 – Holy Frijoles!

It has been said by some that miracles exist in this world. Sometimes, lightning strikes twice in the same place, or two bullets fired from opposing guns collide, or a dog gets issued a credit card.

This my friends, is one of those occasions.

I have heard from others and personally experienced legendarily bad food at Holy Frijoles (908 W 36th St., Hampden) over the years; tales of dried, cracked enchiladas, hard rice that could chip teeth and stale quesadillas that may or may not have been sitting under a rug some where.

But this time, THIS time. I am blown away. These nachos are fantastic. $6 will get you cheese, salsa, jalapenos, black olives and sour cream. For a buck more, your choice of refried or black beans. And for another added dollar, your choice of chicken, steak, beef, chorizo or veggies (those pictured were $8 with black beans and chicken).

What makes them fantastic? Well, the chips are light, unsalted and toasted to an almost-burnt but still damn fine crispiness. The ingredients are well mixed into the pile and there were no naked chips. The serving size, for 8 bucks, is pretty large – especially with meat included. And the salsa is fresh, with just a bit of cilantro.

But what set the value apart in my mind was this: for $11, you can get the “supreme” version of these nachos with EVERY SINGLE OPTIONAL INGREDIENT. $11 for nachos with cheese, salsa, jalapenos, black beans, refried beans, sour cream, olives, and all four meat varieties – AND veggies? Holy crap! Er, Frijoles!

Caveat – and this may or may not explain the quality and timeliness of service during my visit to this ‘versial establishment: I was the only one there, and it was during lunch. Your experience may vary and I exempt myself from any and all liability. Either way, this specific plate kicked total ass and it’s easily in the top 3.

5 out of 5 golden nachos

(view the NachoQuest map so far here)

NachoQuest 2009 – Paper Moon Diner

It’s like, you know… I tried. I really tried. I tried my hardest to avoid watching the guy behind the counter making these nachos. Throwing a pile of chips onto a plate, throwing on some other stuff and a bunch of cheese, popping it into the oven for a minute or two, then dumping on literally a metric ton of salsa, sour cream and guac and putting it in front of me with a “BAM!”

Needless to say, you can barely see the tricolored chips used as the base for Paper Moon’s (227 W 29th St., Remington) Machos Nachos under so much salsa, and for 9 bucks (add 3 more for chicken or portabello mushrooms) you’d be well served to avoid them.

But for the sake of record, the nachos come with tomato, onion, black olives and the rest of the stuff I mentioned above. And to be blunt, they were hastily and poorly prepared. And very expensive, considering what you can get for less at other places (chart for comparison forthcoming!). In fact, some of the nachos I’ve had as of late may warrant a reevaluation of some of my other scores. This was just… guh.

One thing I would note that might be worth trying for the incredibly curious consumer – they have a variation on their standard nachos called “Vegan Nachos” that use hummus and cucumbers rather than sour cream and cheese, for the same price. This I think could be pretty interesting, but considering the quality of the regular nachos I didn’t want to consider it myself (that, and I was full from eating the ones I ordered)

…at least it’s over with.

Just barely 2 nachos out of 5

(view the NachoQuest map so far here)

NachoQuest 2009 – Captain Larry's

When I received word that Federal Hill’s Riverside’s favorite neighborhood bar, Captain Larry’s, had a form of nachos that incorporated my two favorite things – nachos and brunch – I Scooby Doo ran my way down there and immediately used my mouth muscles and tongue to order them.

The BRUNCHOS are $9 and come with tortilla chips topped with scrambled eggs, black beans, choice of bacon or chorizo, melted cheese, avocado & pico with sour cream & salsa.

Things that make this dish awesome to the max: firstly, the chips are well toasted. Secondly, the cheese, bacon and eggs are all layered together, which most other joints don’t bother doing. Thirdly, there is a ton of bacon on them. Fourthly, the portion is huge and is best shared among friends.

Which actually brings me to an interestingly foodosophical topic: brunch is a meal that is rarely a shared event. More on that later. At any rate, brunchos are a great idea and they’re different enough from chilequiles to warrant their own place in the annals of breakfast greatness. And the chunks of avocado are kickass.

(also they should make non-breakfast nachos, especially if they’re this quality)

SO how exactly do I rate such a thing? Breakfast nachos? With a golden donkey, since they’re so different? Or with the normal golden nachos? Guess what. They get both.

One golden donkey and four golden nachos out of …..5?

(view the NachoQuest map so far here)

NachoQuest 2009 – THIS JUST IN

So I received an email from a TOP SECRET source giving me a heads up on some nachos that I have yet to tackle, along the same lines in originality as the pulled pork nachos at Harborque. Get this: BRUNCHOS. Brunch-nachos. The dish is described as such:

Tortilla Chips topped with Scrambled Eggs, Black Beans, choice of Bacon or Chorizo, melted Cheese, Avocado & Pico de Gallo served with Sour Cream & Salsa

Sounds somewhat similar to Chilaquiles, but without mole and more “nacholike” than the more traditional dish. Expect a report as soon as possible.

Mealtime! #15

This very special Mealtime! brought to you by Spam and the Ministry of Bacon.

What: Elvis Pancakes (or Lisa Marie if you want a half order)

Where: Golden West Cafe (1105 W 36th St, Hampden)

How Much: $13 for Elvis, $8 for Lisa Marie

Synopsis: The Elvis pancake platter consists of two buttermilk pancakes with applewood bacon inside, topped with sauteed bananas, honey, and peanut butter.

Baltimore Bacon Czar Spammy describes the situation as such:

The pancakes were huge and fluffy, the bananas were soft like little yellow clouds, and the peanut butter and honey mixed into a potion almost (but not quite) too sweet to bear.

“But what about that bacon?” you ask. The bacon itself was spectacular; our High Priestess Anna thought it was a bit too smoky for her taste, but it was certainly high-quality bacon, well-cooked but still just chewy enough to allow the full flavor to come through. However…we had to admit, it was a bit out of place in the dish. It’s kind of like having William Shatner at a college house party: didn’t really fit in perfectly with everything else that was going on, but an awesome addition to the scene that you wouldn’t even think of turning away.

For the record, if William Shatner showed up to a house party it wouldn’t matter if it were out of place, because it would be literally the most incredibly kickass thing to ever happen to a house party, ever, ever. -Evan

View the Mealtime! Map
(If you’d like to submit your own mealtime entry, follow the simple guidelines and email me!)

Mealtime! #14

Now with extra pictures!

What: Lake Trout with fries and Chicken with kale, sweet potatoes

Where: The Roost (5281 Reisterstown Rd., Woodmere)

How Much: $4.99 each, lunch special

Synopsis: If you’re into soul food, dirt cheap lunches and half and halfs, you pretty much have absolutely no recourse but to hit up The Roost and take advantage of all of those things I just listed.

My understanding is the place gets super packed during prime breakfast and lunch hours, but if you’re super gifted and talented and head there around 2pm, there’s literally no one there and you can get swift service and flaming hot greasy fish n’ chips like these in no time. I wanted to try the catfish nuggets, but went for the (huge) serving of lake trout instead.

Plus, if you sit outside for more than 15 minutes, you’ll receive no less than four (4) advertisements for car detailing!

(If you’d like to submit your own mealtime entry, follow the simple guidelines and email me!)

NachoQuest 2009 – Dead End Saloon

The nachos at Dead End are a lesson well learned: looks can be deceiving. For $8.95 these nachos come with cheddar, chili, lettuce, olives, salsa and sour cream. ….sort of.
When they were first brought out I was pretty happy, as they appear to be layered nicely with a fair amount of all things nacho. I reached for a chip, pulled, and something horrible happened: six or seven chips came along for the ride.

This might not seem horrible to the untrained nacho consumer, but what this instantly tells you about the nachos you’re eating is that they are dried out to the point that the cheese has effectively spackled your chips together. To make matters worse, there wasn’t very much cheese to begin with. To make matters death-rattling, the chips were STALE. A low, guttural “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO” issued from my soul as I turned over bare chip after stale, bare chip until I finally gave up and came to the chilling conclusion: these nachos SUCK. I love Dead End Saloon to death, but their nachos are pewp.

Sorry guys.

One Golden Nacho out of Five

(view the NachoQuest map so far here)

Mealtime! #13

Continuing the “I’m a big dumb tourist who likes to follow Anthony BOREdain’s travels” Mealtime! series…

What: Cold Seafood Platter, Calamari Appetizer
Where: Mo’s Crab and Pasta Factory

How Much: $15.99 for the platter, $8.99 for the calamari

Synopsis: I have heard ten billion horror stories and ten billion happy stories about the service and quality of food at Mo’s over the years, and by the time I got there after not having been there since the age of about six, I was ready for pretty much anything.

I can say pretty safely now that Mo’s is a place for locals, and the people who get pissed off about the service are tourists or transplants. It’s as simple as that. I won’t go into why for the sake of wall of text syndrome, just trust me on this one folks.

Regardless, I can also pretty safely say that both of the items featured here were really, really good. The cold seafood platter had a huge helping of jumbo lump, shrimp, oysters and clams. For the record, raw clams are GROSS DON’T EVER EAT THEM BARF – but the rest was pretty fresh and very tasty. The calamari was lightly fried and didn’t get grease all over everything, and the portion was pretty huge. Split between two people, this Mealtime! was tasty and priced on par with most seafood joints around the area (expensive).

We didn’t try the blue drank, but the dranks we did have were stiff and pretty cheap. It’s a rowdy crowdy at the bar in there around happy hour, that’s for sure. Maybe it’s due to what the commercial for a completely different store says: you just gotta go to Mo’s!
(If you’d like to submit your own mealtime entry, follow the simple guidelines and email me!)

The City That Feeds

The Baltimore culinary landscape – without big words.

NachoQuest 2009 – Kooper's Tavern

NachoQuest 2009 – Holy Frijoles!

NachoQuest 2009 – Paper Moon Diner

NachoQuest 2009 – Captain Larry's

NachoQuest 2009 – THIS JUST IN

Mealtime! #15

Mealtime! #14

NachoQuest 2009 – Dead End Saloon

Mealtime! #13

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